It's amazing—astonishing—astounding that same-sex marriage has only been legal across the country since 2015.
2015, y'all.
Here in Maryland, marriage equality has been the law for a bit longer, but not by much.
While the state can no longer prevent same-sex couples from saying their vows and being legally recognized as married, unfortunately privately-owned companies can still refuse service to queer couples.
And since some vendors don't make their position on same-sex weddings clear up front, it can lead to uncomfortable conversations. Clients may feel they have to disclose that they're gay in the planning process, to make sure a vendor's wedding services are available to them. That conversation comes with the risk of judgment at what is supposed to be one of the happiest times in their lives.
At Maryland's DJ, we're proud to serve all types of weddings, including those of the LGBTQ+ community. Here's how we work to make the experience a welcoming one.
Inclusivity From Start to Finish
Just because a wedding DJ is happy to work with gay weddings, that doesn't mean that they have their business set up in a way that feels inclusive.
This industry has been very hetero-normative until recently, and much of the language surrounding marriage continues to reflect this. Bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs., bridal party, maid of honor, best man. While there is nothing inherently wrong with these terms, it can make gay couples feel like the wedding industry isn't "for them."
Marriage is for everyone.
So at Maryland's DJ, we've updated our online forms to be more inclusive. Rather than "bridal party," we refer to your wedding party. Instead of assuming there will be a father/daughter dance, we ask about any special parent dances, regardless of gender.
We hope that this non-gendered language will make all couples feel welcome and validated!
Flexible Options
One big mistake wedding industry vendors make is assuming that gay weddings will look just like straight weddings, but with a same-sex couple.
Sometimes, this is true.
And sometimes, there are changes to the format of the ceremony and reception. For example: if there are two brides, does one walk down the aisle (like the "traditional" bride) and one wait for her arrival (like the "traditional" groom)? Or do they both get walked down the aisle? Or neither?
An LGBTQ+ wedding DJ will be happy to make the adjustments to your ceremony music to make it work with your unique format.
At one recent wedding for example, our two brides danced with their fathers together, and then danced with their moms together over the course of two songs.
In your pre-planning sessions with your DJ, you can explain the timeline and get advice on some ways same-sex couples have approached these decisions in the past.
Playing Appropriate Music
We love music, obv. It's what we do.
And as music lovers, we are aware that not all music is equally welcoming and inclusive. Hip hop in particular has a reputation for not always being gay-friendly, but it's far from the only genre that has this issue.
We want your dance floor to be a happy place of love and celebration, and that means being discerning with our music choices.
Not only will you have the opportunity to create a must-play and do not play list for the music at your wedding reception, but we'll also be cautious about our own music selections to prevent offensive language from marring the magic on your wedding day.
As you plan your wedding, we would love to suggest gay-friendly wedding vendors that we've worked with in the past. We've DJ'ed hundreds of weddings with caterers, photographers, florists, videographers, and more who are happy to help you celebrate your same-sex wedding!
Love is love!
Planning your big day? Fill out our quick online form to get more information about working with Maryland’s DJ and get your date on our calendar!
Photos by Valerie Mitchell and Bradley Images
Published on:
Thursday, July 15, 2021
